Well I am back, and chugging with an extra little person! On April 24 we welcomed our second beautiful bundle, it was the most excruciating three hours of my life. I thought the first delivery was painful, that was a serious understatement! I did have an induction this time versus a natural rupture, however I also did not expect to progress as quickly as I did. I was officially induced at 7 am and by 10:10 am my son was born. Despite the pain and torture of delivery, I was also dealing with this immense amount of anxiety and fear all at once. While I labored all I could think about through every worsening contraction was if I would be able to do this again, I know weird ass timing to be thinking of that, and hell a little to late if you ask me; but this is exactly what went through my mind, and then it was the thought of my older child and how he will acclimate to this major life altering change and if he will be OK; all of this ran through my mind as I am having close to death contractions every 30 seconds. However, after three hours of what seemed like borderline death, my beautiful 7 lb 10 ounce baby boy was born with a full head of hair that I could almost braid and chunky pal cheeks you want to eat up.
I immediately forgot all the fear and pain, I was in love all over again. The mother amnesia is absolutely a thing! I can say this, despite me being head over heals in love with my baby, this delivery killed me, and definitely made me realize that two could very well be enough for me! Despite the obvious and expected pain and delivery chaos, my hospital, doctor/staff, and husband were absolutely amazing. From following my birthing plan to getting me through the whole process as smoothly as possible, the experience was truly beautiful.
I was able to go home within 24 hours, that’s when reality set in. I was now home still very much fresh with healing wounds and battle scars and two kids, two dogs and a husband. These past few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions and experiences. We are still very much so in the adjustment phase of things. Our oldest is 5 1/2; so jumping back into the sleepless nights, routine diaper changes, and breast feeding, (which was a whole challenge within itself) made this momma feel like a first time parent all over again.
However, within all the adjusting and craziness that comes with having a newborn, I do have to say, seeing my boys interact and seeing my oldest love his brother, reassures me that I am doing something right in all of this madness. These past six weeks have been nothing but beautiful. So returning to work was a lot harder than I would have ever expected. I have always worked, and have been a working mom from day, one with no intention of ever stopping (and also not really having the choice to), until this baby boy came along! The thought crossed my mind a million and one times and it still does, I cried for days leading up to the first day of work, which was only this past Monday. It was definitely to soon and stressful. I do this all for my boys and I know that, thankfully I am blessed with the most amazing support God could provide on earth. My son is cared for by my mom and grandma and so childcare is the absolute best case scenario in my book, however, it doesn’t change the want to be there more and the want to not miss anything, FOMO is always on my mind! I know it will take time as it did with my first, to get back into the swing of things and I am ok with that. I have to say this, the second time around, I have learned to just go with the flow, not expect so much of myself and my body (blog coming on that topic soon), and embracing every moment, because they go by so fast.
Overall, it hasn’t been easy but I wouldn’t have it any other way, I adore my boys and God knows they are the best part of me, I look forward to watching them grow and treasure every minute I have with them because time does fly and that’s the one thing we can never get back!
Welcome to Motherhood x2
Thank you for reading, share some of your stories on becoming a mommy again or for the first time and how your adventure of motherhood has been. I’d love to read about it!